“Honey please pick up some washing up liquid from the Supermarket”



Andy was very furious. At 4:30pm, his boss David had asked him to work on a presentation that needed to be delivered the following day. Granted David had only just found out about it but Andy felt he could have done it himself rather than giving it to him to do it. He had been working long hours for the past 2 weeks and had hoped he could leave work early today. He had promised his wife Mandy to be home early. Mandy had told him she was going to make his favourite meal of fried rice with beef in black bean sauce and he had been looking forward to eating it all day.


When David asked him to work on the presentation, Andy had to restrain himself from losing his temper. A lot of his colleagues had been laid off recently and there were rumours of further cuts to be made. He didn’t want to lose his job so he had smiled and said no problem when David had asked him to do it. He didn’t get home till past midnight.

The following day, Andy had managed to leave work early and was driving back home when his cell phone rang. It was his wife Mandy calling. She was calling to say they had run out of washing up liquid and could Andy please stop at the supermarket on the way home to pick up some. Andy got really upset with her and told her off for not being organised. He eventually agreed he will stop at the supermarket but he made sure she knew he was not happy about it.

We tend to be protective of things that belong to us or that we own. At work, we work extra hard to see that we get to the highest possible position that is attainable. If at any time we feel that this position is being threatened, we work very hard to protect it. Andy was able to restrain himself from telling his boss off when he gave him work to do at the last minute but was quick to tell his wife how he felt when she asked him for a favour. He was willing to work very late to meet his deadline but very unwilling to pick up washing up liquid from the supermarket which was on his way home.

According to the Oxford English dictionary, have and hold mean the following:

Have – “Possess, own or hold.

Hold – “Grasp, carry or support”

When we promise each other “To have and to hold from this day forward”, what we are saying to each other is from today, I belong to you and I am in your possession and connected with you. I will grasp, carry and support you.

If we make an effort to treat our spouses with the same respect and tolerance we accord our colleagues, bosses and friends, I am sure a lot of us will argue less and get on with each other more. We should do all that is within us to make sure we do not lose that connection which binds us together.