The Vows We Take

In a traditional Christian marriage, the vows exchanged will usually take the form, "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part".

In a traditional civil ceremony, the vows exchanged will usually take the form, “(Name), I take you to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife). Before these witnesses I vow to love you and care for you as long as we both shall live. I take you with all your faults and your strengths as I offer myself to you with my faults and strengths. I will help you when you need help, and I will turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life”.

I wonder if couples really understand exactly what they are saying to each other when exchanging their vows. Do they mean what they are saying or are they carried away with the euphoria of being married that the meaning of what they are saying to each other escapes them. I say this because of the high rate of divorce these days. Some marriages don’t live to see their 1st year anniversary even among couples that dated or cohabited a long time before getting married. When I hear of a marriage break up, it really breaks my heart because a lot of the time when you listen to why they have decided to divorce, it is because both parties have decided that their marriage is not worth fighting for. We tend to make more of an effort to save our jobs than to save our marriage.

When there is some sort of conflict at work or where one feels they have been treated unfairly by their employee, the first thing one tends to do is to look at the contract they signed before they started working to see if they have a case against their employer. When we experience some sort of conflict in our marriage, how many of us go back to read the vows that we made to each other on our wedding day? Maybe if we reminded ourselves regularly what we promised each other, we might see our own shortcomings when we want to be quick to condemn our other half. Sometimes life gets in the way and we forget what we promised each other on that beautiful day and never go back to remind ourselves of the vows we made to each other. I believe it is important we remind ourselves as a couple what we promised each other and what those vows we said to each other meant to us when we said it.

In the coming weeks, I will be taking a closer look at these vows that we say in front of friends and family on the day we get married. Please feel free to email me @ (Vivienne@viviennetiger.com) or click on the share my story link if you want to share your story or add your personal view to this article.