"All The Single Ladies"

 

Kelly laid in the dark willing herself to forget the last year of her life and the cause of her pain. She was 29 years old and single again. She had a terrible headache from crying so much. She couldn’t help thinking she had let herself down and she had failed to keep her promise to God. If she was honest to herself, her breakup with Jonathan was long overdue but she had lived in denial, believing their relationship would take a turn for the better. They had been together for 11 months and had met at a mutual friend’s birthday party. When he was introduced to her, she went weak at her knees when she looked up at him. He was tall, good looking and had a lovely smile that reached his eyes.

The first six months of their relationship was blissful. Jonathan was so attentive to what she had to say. He sent romantic texts to her all day and took her out on dates every other evening. He wanted to know everything about her. She always looked forward to seeing him and kept pinching herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. She couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have such a wonderful boyfriend. He didn’t make her feel stupid or put any pressure on her to sleep with him after she explained to him that she had made a promise to herself and God after her last relationship broke down that the next man she sleeps with will be her husband. His response “It will make our wedding night even more special” made her love him more.

Eight months into the relationship, Jonathan became a bit distant. His texts message didn’t come as often and when they did come it was very informal and not romantic at all. When Kelly called him, he sounded like he was in a hurry to get off the phone. She only got to see him once a week and that was because she made the effort to drive by his office on Fridays. He always seemed to have a lot of things planned for the weekend that didn’t include her. When she tried to talk to him to find out what the problem was, he always said that he was under a lot of pressure at work and had tight deadlines to meet. It was almost like he was avoiding her. When she was just about giving up on them being a couple, he calls her and invites her for dinner. Over dinner he starts to apologise for his distant behaviour, and how he has been doing a lot of thinking. He goes on to talk about her wanting to wait until they were married to have sex, how he was going to marry her someday and was quite hurt that she didn’t trust him to feel she had to be married to him to sleep with him. He went on to say if the trust wasn’t there he didn’t think he could continue being with her let alone marry her.

Kelly knew she should have walked away then, but she really wanted this to work and also wanted to get married. She convinced herself to see where he was coming from regarding him feeling she didn’t trust him. He had really been patient with her and obviously wanted to marry her which was why he was feeling her wanting to wait till they were married meant she didn’t trust him. She was quiet for a while thinking about what he had said. She went on to tell him she trusted him and was willing to prove it to him and sleep with him. He was so ecstatic when she agreed, he carried her and twirled her around right in the middle of the restaurant. Kelly was so happy to see him back to his old self even though she was a bit sad she was going to break her promise to God. She told herself God will understand especially when she got married to Jonathan.

The first couple of months after sleeping with him, things were back to what they were in the early days. By the tenth month, Kelly hardly saw Jonathan. When she sent him texts, he never replied them. He never picked up her calls or returned them. When she drove to his office, she was told he was in meetings and could not come down to see her. She was not allowed to wait for him.

Then today she bumps into him at the mall with a girl who he introduced to Kelly as his fiancé. He said they were in a hurry and will catch up with her later. Kelly was left speechless. Lying in the dark, she couldn’t remember how she made it home. She had never felt so used in her life. She prayed God will forgive her for breaking her promise to Him.

Kelly felt to make her relationship with Jonathan work, she had to compromise on her principles. When you are romantically involved or love someone, it is easy to give up what you feel is right or what you believe in to make the other person happy. Kelly decided to sleep with Jonathan because he had said he planned to marry her someday. Being married and wanting to marry are two different things. If a man loves you, he will honour and respect your feelings. It has not been proven that sex makes a relationship stronger. On the contrary sex complicates it.

Kelly should pick herself up, know that God has forgiven her and begin again.